The more I don't like someone the more likely I am to say something nice to them!!! It’s easy to say something nice to a friend. So I guess we should be nice to everyone.
Oh ya; God said love your brother, neighbour, and enemy!!! Guess that means everyone eh!!!
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Negative Humour
Negative humour is like a firearm. It can do a lot of good if it is used with the utmost caution and only for a helpful purpose. For instance I heard of a mayor in the U.S. who went out for his morning run and was attacked by two pit bull dogs. He tried to climb a tree to get away from them but could only get part way up. The dogs could still get at his legs, he was bleeding profusely, on the verge of passing out and would most certainly have been killed if he fell out of the tree. An old farmer heard some screaming from far away and said to his wife that he was going to check it out. When he arrived on the scene he simply reached under the seat of his old pickup truck, pulled out his 45 and shot the dogs saving the life of the man in the tree. The doctor said that he almost died from blood loss. Police and soldiers use guns to protect us. What ever you think of guns I still think that they have some useful purposes but are also often used for horrible acts, just like negative humour is sometimes. What ever you think of negative humour I have used it very successfully on many occasions. Some people say that negative humour and guns are always wrong. This is sad because both have legitimate and valuable purposes, but must, as I just said, be used with the utmost caution.
In all forms of humour, we can tell that we are being helpful if the recipient finds it funny. One look at the target makes it abundantly clear whether or not he or she is enjoying the moment.
Humour is often used for very selfish reasons, for instance to make everyone else in the room think that you are a funny person, but this is often at the expense of someone who is really hurting or even worse yet, who you are hurting. This doesn’t make you a funny person but rather a cruel one.
I have had many friends who exchanged negative humour with me and we both enjoyed it. It made us feel bonded. I have also had many people use negative humour and I knew that I was just being used for selfish reasons, it hurts.
IF THE RECIPIENT IS NOT LAUGHING IT IS NOT FUNNY BUT CRUEL.
Back in my partying days I got invited to almost every party because I had the ability to make people laugh. People love to laugh. When I was a pastor I was good at making the congregation laugh during a sermon. The folks loved it. Like guns though we have to learn to use it wisely.
If you are going to use humour well with all types of people it will take a lot of practice. Practice is not performance. Practice by definition includes error. When you realize that you got it wrong, as we all will sometimes, apologize quickly and tell the person how much they mean to you. Make sure that you are feeling real concern for the person when you apologize, as it increases the effectiveness of your apology. It takes humility but it is well worth it. Why not make them feel like they are important to you.
I have used negative humour a lot and created many an enjoyable moment. Other times I have had to apologize and with real heart. People noticing negative humour and wanting to be funny too have often used it unwisely and since others laughed they thought that it was good. Sadly they often didn’t notice or care that the target person wasn’t laughing.
Final note… If you are ever going to get really good at communicating with people about hard or important issues make sure that you are feeling what you want them to feel and pay very close attention to their expressions so that you know how they are receiving it.
Negative humour is like a firearm. It can do a lot of good if it is used with the utmost caution and only for a helpful purpose. For instance I heard of a mayor in the U.S. who went out for his morning run and was attacked by two pit bull dogs. He tried to climb a tree to get away from them but could only get part way up. The dogs could still get at his legs, he was bleeding profusely, on the verge of passing out and would most certainly have been killed if he fell out of the tree. An old farmer heard some screaming from far away and said to his wife that he was going to check it out. When he arrived on the scene he simply reached under the seat of his old pickup truck, pulled out his 45 and shot the dogs saving the life of the man in the tree. The doctor said that he almost died from blood loss. Police and soldiers use guns to protect us. What ever you think of guns I still think that they have some useful purposes but are also often used for horrible acts, just like negative humour is sometimes. What ever you think of negative humour I have used it very successfully on many occasions. Some people say that negative humour and guns are always wrong. This is sad because both have legitimate and valuable purposes, but must, as I just said, be used with the utmost caution.
In all forms of humour, we can tell that we are being helpful if the recipient finds it funny. One look at the target makes it abundantly clear whether or not he or she is enjoying the moment.
Humour is often used for very selfish reasons, for instance to make everyone else in the room think that you are a funny person, but this is often at the expense of someone who is really hurting or even worse yet, who you are hurting. This doesn’t make you a funny person but rather a cruel one.
I have had many friends who exchanged negative humour with me and we both enjoyed it. It made us feel bonded. I have also had many people use negative humour and I knew that I was just being used for selfish reasons, it hurts.
IF THE RECIPIENT IS NOT LAUGHING IT IS NOT FUNNY BUT CRUEL.
Back in my partying days I got invited to almost every party because I had the ability to make people laugh. People love to laugh. When I was a pastor I was good at making the congregation laugh during a sermon. The folks loved it. Like guns though we have to learn to use it wisely.
If you are going to use humour well with all types of people it will take a lot of practice. Practice is not performance. Practice by definition includes error. When you realize that you got it wrong, as we all will sometimes, apologize quickly and tell the person how much they mean to you. Make sure that you are feeling real concern for the person when you apologize, as it increases the effectiveness of your apology. It takes humility but it is well worth it. Why not make them feel like they are important to you.
I have used negative humour a lot and created many an enjoyable moment. Other times I have had to apologize and with real heart. People noticing negative humour and wanting to be funny too have often used it unwisely and since others laughed they thought that it was good. Sadly they often didn’t notice or care that the target person wasn’t laughing.
Final note… If you are ever going to get really good at communicating with people about hard or important issues make sure that you are feeling what you want them to feel and pay very close attention to their expressions so that you know how they are receiving it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
